Au contraire...
My life was marked by firm purpose the day Maya and her chubby legs arrived. In the beginning, before Maya started sleeping from 9pm to 7am, I would go days without a shower, have time to eat only one meal a day, and sleep less than two hours a night. The world was spinning twice as fast as it should have been and I couldn't get a grasp on what was day, what was night, and why Maya had on two diapers at once. I wanted that to come to an end. I needed sleep. I needed to eat. And I needed not to feel like I had squirrels nesting in my hair.
Now that Maya is sleeping through the night in her own room, I find myself lying in bed awake listening to her subtle grunts and coos while staring at the baby monitor screen hoping to see her smile or hear her giggle in her sleep. I watch her wiggle around in her crib. I long for her to be next to me in the bed where she used to reach out her delicate hands searching for me in sleep. Upon locating me she would rest her open palm on cheek and all would be right with our worlds. Every morning when she wakes I'm bursting with anticipation because I know I get to feed her and snuggle with her after a long torturous night of being away.
I now understand what the he meant about giving up everything you once loved. There isn't a fraction of my being that would rather be doing anything other than anything Maya.
